Across the world, self-proclaimed feminists don’t support other women. And where do we see this more than on reality TV, in which women fight and others watch for their enjoyment? Recently, the sixth season of Netflix’s Selling Sunset aired. If you don’t know, the show is set in the real estate world of LA, with models for agents and enough bitch fights to go around. Throughout the long-winded show, women have come and gone, replaced each other, and gotten into fights about love and loss and the complications of female friendships. And among petty dramas, Netflix reaps the profits and viewers reap the satisfaction of watching women fight on screen.
So why is it that we are pleased when watching these shows? I’ll admit, I’m just as guilty as everyone else. Watching Christine especially – the certified bitch and villain on the show – gave me a sense of excitement as I waited for her to begin the next fight with any of her other coworkers. But the truth is, the media has conditioned us to expect ‘cat fights’ whenever a group of women simply exist together. Shows like The Bachelor, which prides itself on pitting women against each other all for a man, or even America’s Next Top Model, which gains its entertainment from the women betraying each other for a way to the top. In truth, women are always expected to fit into two categories: docile or mean. And it is this expectation that breeds conflicts in so many reality TV shows. It is always the nice girl against a total bitch. This conflict thrusts viewers into a conflict of their own, fighting for which side is right. But neither are. Yet reality TV doesn’t wish to depict the complexities of female friendship, rather it seeks to encourage female suffering.
In a way, Selling Sunset derives its pleasures from a very real setting – women in the corporate world. The corporate world, which prioritizes restriction and exclusivity, is an extremely cutthroat world for any working woman. It’s a mousetrap for petty fights.
But why?
Because it doesn’t have space for every woman, unlike for men. In the corporate world, a woman must adopt a cutthroat personality, or else she will run the risk of being replaced. But, she can’t be too straightforward, or people will think her bitchy and mean. Ultimately, the corporate world encourages this competition between women. The rule of ‘there can only be one’ ensures constant hatred toward other women, and even benefits the audience’s enjoyment.
In Selling Sunset many of the conflicts stem from the agents’ personal lives, however, there is the ever-looming presence of their boss, Jason. They must sell, they must get along just enough to appease him. If anything, much of the show’s conflicts always circle back to Jason in the end. In season 5, Chrishell begins to date Jason, and rumors speculate about favoritism and her motive for dating him. It’s the expectation the corporate world nurtures in everyone, especially other women who have been taught that there can only be one of them in the workplace.
And while these shows perpetuate negative stereotypes, they also do a service to women. No longer are we characterized as a single monolithic person. Instead, our flaws are brandished on TV: our drama, cruel natures, and at times, the toxicity of many female friendships. To admit this as truth is not a step away from feminism, rather it brings us closer to admitting ourselves as more than just a singular, kind entity that the media has been pushing onto us since its creation.
So no, I’m not saying to end all reality TV shows forever. You can keep watching The Bachelor for all I care. But, one day I would like to enjoy a show which encourages female friendships and the mess that accompanies them.